Friday, January 22, 2010

Those Empty Eyes

A conversation from last night's Private Practice [in a hospital, man's wife just died -- it's taken out of context, but hopefully you get the gist]:

Man: The thing is, I can't leave without my wife. And I can't leave with her, so I can't leave. . . Did you feel this way, when you lost your child?

Woman: Well, walking out that door was the hardest thing I ever did. But yeah, I did feel this way.

Man: You've got that "dead kid" face. I'm sorry, that didn't come out right.

Woman: It's alright. What do you mean about my face?

Man: Your eyes, you've been some place that most people have never been. You've survived something that no one would've wanted to survive. It's your eyes. They're, I don't know . . . empty.

Woman: It doesn't have to be dead kid. It could just be bad life.

Man: No, it's dead kid.

********

I wonder if I have a dead kid face? Are people looking at me and thinking, "Oh, for sure, dead kid." I wonder if my eyes are empty. I don't think they are . . . at least I hope not.

9 comments:

Jill said...

I saw that episode as well and thought the same thing when I heard that part.

Paige said...

I can't even hardly watch that show anymore- i skipped it last season. could you feel me in on the violet and baby situation??

SUSI said...

I saw the show last night and I thought it that scene was so right on. It reminds me of what my parents said to me over christmas. They call me their "sunshine" and have done so through my adulthood. They said that my happy, free-spirited character was just always what they loved so much about me. This past christmas, we were just sitting around the tree chatting and my Dad said: "I wish I could get my "sunshine" back."

Even though we manage to learn to live without our children, smile and make new memories, I think all of us are forever changed and it probably shows that something really really bad happened to us in our lives (hopefully not always).

The Blue Sparrow said...

I wonder that alot too myself, if people can just look at me and know. Maybe its just me being paranoid but I think my eyes are different now since coming home from the hospital. Not empty persay just different, sad maybe. I didnt see this episode but now I wish I would have watched so I knew what the backstory was.

Courtney said...

Oh that episode was incredibly sad. I could not help but wonder the same thing about me. It's really starting to get hard as we embark on the one year since the boys have been gone =(

Susan said...

I watched this episode, as well, and thought the same thing as I was watching it. It gave me goosebumps.

Mary said...

I think we all wonder that. Are we permanently changed, different, emptier? I know I feel different, I guess I just wonder if I look it.

Betty said...

I don't watch the show but I feel that your eyes are the window to your soul. When you have lost a child you soul dies. Well that's how it feels for me. I think the when people look at me they can tell that something is missing.

Holly said...

I didn't see it but it's interesting. I wonder if people do notice things like that. I wonder if they wonder what happened...