I lit a candle for Dylan today, in honor of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. I know I don't need a special day to remember Dylan, I will remember him everyday for the rest of my life. But it's still nice, you know? Justin and I walked up to church and lit 5 candles, the first for Dylan (of course), and 4 others for the things weighing heavy on our hearts right now. When I got home, I lit just about every candle I could find (I bet Dylan can see the lights from Heaven ;).
June 2008, the month that changed our lives forever, the month that will go down in infamy in my book. From 30 weeks on, my pregnancy consisted of 5 baby showers, twice weekly doctor appointments, childbirth prep class, a hospital tour . . . you know, the usual. I had a regular appointment at my OB on the afternoon of June 2nd. My blood pressure was higher than normal and the amniotic fluid was just below the level it should be. My doctor told me to go straight to the hospital from there and check myself in, do not pass Go, do not collect $200. I ran home just to grab my hospital paperwork and give our dog Inu some lovin' (I didn't even pack a bag). At the end of the week, I would be 36 weeks along (I thought that was plenty, and I really wasn't freaking out). I gave Justin a call on the way to the hospital, and he met me there.
My first night there I was in the Urgent Care area of the hospital, right next to the ER. My doctor came to see me that night and told me that I would be staying overnight. They administered an IV of magnesium (to prevent seizures). That was excruciating (still gives me chills thinking about it, and I have a high pain tolerance). Anyway, my doctor's fear, of course, was preeclampsia. A tech from Maternal Fetal came that night and performed an ultrasound.
The amniotic fluid was fine at that point, but I would still have to sleep off the magnesium in that hospital room overnight. When my doctor came to see me the next day, he said he was recommending STRICT bedrest, and that I would need to stay in the hospital for the remainder of my pregnancy. They moved me up the the High-Risk Pregnancy wing that night. At least I'd be surrounded by other preggos at that point. By the end of the week, I accepted the fact that this is where I'd be until I got to meet Dylan. I got alot of sleep though. I thought, this may be the last time I can get some good sleep for a while. I took full advantage, and my BP stabilized.
On Monday of the following week, a Maternal Fetal tech came to do another ultrasound. The amniotic fluid was back "on the fence", but still no alarms. They came back on Wednesday morning to check on the amniotic level again. That morning, the fluid was down slightly more, and the Maternal Fetal doctor told me she would inform my OB. Shortly after, at around 9 AM on Wednesday morning, the Maternal Fetal doctor told me that they were scheduling me for a C-section at 6 that evening. Wow, waiting until 6 PM was emotional. I had no idea what to expect, and that freaked me out ALOT. I called Justin to come back (he'd spent every night at the hospital with me the whole time I was there, and he had just left for work about an hour earlier). He started making calls to family and friends, and the nerves just kept building.
He must've sensed my brain going in a million different directions, so he sat next to me on the bed and put on a movie. We watched Knocked Up, which I thought was mildly appropriate. We just sat in my hospital bed and laughed at the movie, it definitely took the edge off. A nurse popped in during one of the sex scenes, and Justin couldn't press pause fast enough. I got a little chuckle about that too. I didn't just sit and watch the clock the whole time, Justin helped me stay calm and relaxed. 6 PM was coming, and I was a bundle of excitement, fear, uncertainty, everything at once. I just couldn't wait to welcome Dylan into the world already!