Sunday, March 22, 2009

When You Become a Parent

So there's been a couple of instances now where our own friends have lectured us on how life changes "when you guys have kids". Seems like they've forgotten that we are already parents. I mean, we are [parents] right? Even though Dylan isn't in our earthly presence? And on top of that, the larger irony is that the majority of the people who've given us the "when you guys have kids" or the "when you guys become parents" lecture have been people who don't have kids yet. How do they know how life changes, they don't even have kids themselves! It's almost like trying to give me a lecture on how life is when you're Filipino . . . woah, wait, reality check, YOU'RE NOT FILIPINO, I am!!! Yet another "WTF moment" . . . such is life for parents grieving a loss.


Sara said...

I have that happen. It sucks. I had a lady ask me if this was my first and when I responded that no, it isn't my first. My first son is in Heaven - she said, oh, so it is your first? I couldn't believe it.

You know you are already a mom. You will never forget Dylan or the imprint he has left on your life. Just pray for the other people to learn a little tact and compassion.


Mommy (You can call me OM) said...

Egads. What a crock. Don't you just want to retort with a lecture titled something like "Just Wait Until Your Baby Dies -- Then Your Life REALLY Changes."

Domestic Goddess said...

WOW! Between what you said and Sara's comment I have goose bumps! That is just nuts. You have much more tact than I because I think I would have lost it.

Sometimes I really wish people could take just 3 more seconds to think of the words they are about to say and how they can truly impact another person, it would really save a lot of instances from even happening.

I have not lost a child but I can relate to the instance of of stupid comments. Our daughter is almost 7 and we have been trying for a 2nd child for 3 years now and it's a known fact. So now everyone tiptoes around the topic of baby as if I will break, like they can't say the word baby or something. And then when we do get on a topic of babies and caring for them and that kind of thing I have friends and family telling me what it is like to have to care for a baby?!?! WTF? Was my 6 1/2 year old not a newborn at one point? Do you think in these 6 years that I forgot what it was like to care for her?? I may be a little out of practice but you never forget to be a MOM!!!!!! :)

Aghhh, I feel much better! ;)