It's better, you know, being without our son. Yes, it still sucks not to have him here. Yes, I still find myself caught off-guard by the sudden on-set of tears sometimes. But, it's better. It's not like in the first few days when I couldn't find a reason to get out of bed. It's not like that at all.
I just finished a Year In Review post for my daughter's blog, and the dichotomy in my heart is ever-present. I see how much she's grown in the past year, both physically and developmentally, and yet there's that unrelenting curiosity that my brain just has to visit: what would Dylan be like now? What are 2 1/2 year-olds into? It sucks that I don't know because I should. But these are the cards that we've been dealt. We're very hopeful for the New Year though, that our hearts will continue to be on the mend. Very hopeful that the missing never goes away but that it never becomes paralyzing again either (not only for our daughter's sake, but for Dylan's sake as well).
Anywho, to ring in the New Year as we did last year, we made our requisite donation to the children's hospital:I hope that 2011 is kind to you as well. I hope that those waiting on their "rainbows" have all their heart's desires met. And I hope that those still working on mending their broken hearts find some sort of peace and joy in this coming year.
I never got around to posting our Christmas Card this year, but here it is (had to include Dylan, of course ;)And finally (since this post is already so random to begin with), I never got around to thanking sweet, sweet Carly for sending along this beautiful picture of Christian's beach. She told me, "I was thinking of Dylan when I drew this latest butterfly :)" THANKS SO MUCH CARLY!