For whatever reason, I've always been obssessed with watching TLC's "A Baby Story". I don't as much anymore because I get easily worked up over statements like:
"I knew that she was a special baby, that she really was a fighter, and that she wanted to be with us as much as we wanted to be with her."
I hear these things from a mother arriving at home with her baby (who spent her first 7 days of life in the NICU). While it does pull at my heartstrings, I feel my mind quickly go into a defensive stance: "Does this imply that Dylan wasn't a fighter. That he just didn't want to be with us or that we didn't want him enough?"
Oh the places my brain will go. It just sucks, it really does.
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6 comments:
Hi there. :) I found your blog a while back through my friend Stacy when reading about the loss of her dear son, Isaac. Just wanted you to know that I follow your blog and think that Dylan is SUPER cute. Thank you for continuing to share your feelings with us. As someone who has not lost a child, you have really shown me how to better care for those who have. I really respect and appreciate your honesty.
:) Jenny
Many hugs, friend.
He certainly was a fighter!! Thank you for being so honest on your blog. It is such a good reminder to be careful with your choice of words.....you never know what someone else is going through. Hugs sent your way! :)
It's easy for people to say things like that when they have a happy ending.
Totally get it!!! My daughter died at 7 weeks of an undetected congenital heart defect. The "heart moms" of surviving CHD kids really piss me off with their statements like, "God had a plan. He was watching over X that day." And they throw in the "fighter" crap too. So...God just chose to ignore my kid? or she just gave up? Whatever. People say stupid sh*&. Their happy endings were not the result of divine intervention or will power; nope, just a combination of good luck, DNA and anatomy. No more, no less.
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