I hate feeling that. I hate that when I hear that somebody's baby is coming home from the NICU, the first thing that I think is not, "That's great, that's amazing, God is good!"
Rather, the first thought that comes into my head is, "That's not fair. Dylan never got to come home. We never had that moment. The doctors and the nurses never got excited for us."
I hate feeling that.
About Me
- Jus and Kat
- First and foremost, we are parents. In June 2008, our son Dylan was born. He was our first pregnancy, first child, first time we realized the capacity of our hearts. Sadly, he was diagnosed with a congenital heart defect (HRHS) and, shortly after birth, was also diagnosed as VACTERL. He had a series of birth conditions, and because of the severity of his case, his doctors could not perform all the necessary surgeries that he would need to survive. He was medically classified as a "one in a million" case, and he lived for 6 beautiful days of life before he was Heaven-bound. Losing a child has strengthened our relationship and our faith. Together, we possess the courage to face whatever life throws our way and the will to survive it all. We've even survived the fears and anxiety of subsequent pregnancies and have two healthy and beautiful daughters at home. “The happiest people don't have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything they have.”
My Dill Pickle
What a Soldier
Dylan's Feet
Just the cutest things I've ever seen!
His Precious Eyes
Look out daddy, you have competition!
Our Sweet Angel
"Life is not the amount of breaths you take, it's the moments that take your breath away."
Dylan's Butterfly
Thank you once again Carly, you're amazing!
Dylan's Name in the Sand
Thank you Carly!
Angel Wings Memorial Boutique
Thank You Lea!
7 comments:
I feel so guilty for feeling the same thing. No lie.
I couldn't have said it any better. I wish none of us knew this jealousy, but you're definitely not alone :(
I'm sure you are happy they are taking their baby home but it's hard not to think about your own baby who didn't get that same thing and the unfairness of it all. How can you not think of that?
You're not alone...its hard not to feel that way. and we understand. *hug*
Yup, I "hate" those babies that survive surgical correction of the heart defect my daughter had. Why not her? Why was she not even diagnosed before death? Honestly, I am not happy for them though I know I "should" be. I am just pissed that my daughter wasn't so lucky. Oh well, can only expect so much from a grieving mom.
-- Olivia
My husband and I just had this conversation. Know that you are not alone.
Hugs to you.
I have felt that too. I couldn't seem to shake it (even tho' I tried) until I had my Joseph. Then all those feelings went away. Now I struggle to conquer all my other negative thoughts that always try to get into my head. There's always something, my dear!
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