Monday, March 1, 2010

A Positive Side of Loss

Okay, you know how I love lists (and apparently quizzes), so I will answer the question posed by the Butterfly Mommies blog in list form.

What positive things have come from the loss of your baby?

5. Writing - It has been so therapeutic and healing to return to my writing roots. While I hate that my crippling pain and grief had to exist in order for me to have something to write about, I am honored to share Dylan's story in this way.

4. Community - While the stories that I've come across have ranged from somewhat similar to radically different, the common bond that babylost parents share and the friendships that result from "meeting" in this way have proven extremely helpful. When you're constantly surrounded by people in real life who have no idea what you're going through or no idea what to say to you, it's both calming and refreshing to be reminded that I'm not alone in this journey and that it's absolutely okay to grieve how I need to.

3. Perspective - The little things are just that, little. I've learned not to sweat the small stuff, and I've learned that I don't fear much anymore. I've faced the absolute worst that this world can throw my way - outliving a child.

2. Character - I am strong, I am a survivor. Losing Dylan proved that to me like nothing else could. From the grace that I exhibited in the face of adversity to the hope and courage that I had to find in order to survive a pregnancy after loss, I've certainly grown as an individual.

1. Faith - As Justin so eloquently put it the other day, "Dylan put us right with God." Truth be told, I know that I still have alot of questions when it comes to God and why things happen the way they do, but I am closer to God. I'm getting there, I'm no where near perfect. I know, at the end of the day, there's nothing I want more than to live my life so that I may end up reunited with Dylan in Heaven one day.


Franchesca Cox said...

Such beautiful gifts that your Dylan brought you even in this loss. I can especially relate to your 'perspective' point. It's true about fear, there's not a whole lot to fear once you've lost your world. Thank you for sharing :)

Courtney said...

I couldn't agree more with this list.


Kristie said...

What a beautiful way to honor your baby boy. Such a handsome little guy. I'm so moved by your perspective, your list. I know that by sharing your story with such bold honestly you are touching other's lives that have been there, and that are struggling and need to know that there is some place beyond the most severe pain. Thank you so much for sharing this, lovingly in Christ, Kristie

Holly said...

A great list of positives. I so agree