Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Six Months Ago . . .

. . . Dylan earned his wings. I would say that it was the most heart-wrenching day of my life, but all I remember was the peace. For me, the harder day was a few days after Dylan’s birthday, when we found out that all the doctors could do was "keep him comfortable and let nature take its course". To be told that all hope was lost was absolutely devastating. I never saw this coming, but I guess that’s part of the journey.

I have to believe that the few days we had with him after that was God giving us the time to find that peace. During that time, we questioned and were angry at God. We certainly weren’t thinking about how blessed we were to have to say goodbye to our son, all of that has happened in retrospect.

But by the morning of June 17th, that peace had entered our minds and our hearts and we were ready to let Dylan go. It was quite possibly the quietest and most peaceful moment of my life. I remember the sun blazing into the hospital room window. I had Dylan on my heart, my hand on his head, and Justin right next to us. Perfect. Peace.

Some Borrowed Writing

Don't Say Anything

Author Unknown

Don't tell me "things happen for a reason."
Don't tell me to "keep busy" and "move on."
Don't tell me that you "know how I feel."

Don't tell me that it was "too hard" for YOU
to talk to ME about the death of MY baby boy.

Don't tell me that YOU feel "uncomfortable"
looking at his picture or calling me on his birthday.

Don't SAY anything to try to make me feel better.

Hug me.
Listen to me.
Sit quietly with me.
Let me cry.
Smile when you look at his picture.
Help me plant a tree in his memory.
Allow me to sit in the rocking chair in the nursery.
Light a candle.
Release a balloon.
Walk with me on my journey.
Remember him forever.

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