Grieving

Excerpts from tonight's Grey's Anatomy (so true, so profound, so close to home):

"Grief may be a thing we all have in common, but it looks different on everyone."

"The thing we all have to remember is that it can turn on a dime."

"When it hurts so much you can't breathe, that's when you survive."

"Grief comes in its own time for everyone, in its own way."

"The very worst part of grief is that you can't control it."

"The best we can do is to let ourselves feel it when it comes, and let it go when we can."

"The very worst part is that the minute you think you're past it, it starts all over again."

"And always, every time, it starts all over again."

Denial. Anger. Bargaining. Depression. Acceptance.

Remembering

Remembering on 9/11/09 means something completely different for me than it does for most. Today, while all of my friends update their status on Facebook with something inspirational about the tragic events of 8 years ago, my thoughts were drawn elsewhere. Today, Dylan would've been 15 months old. That's just my reality, perhaps a tad too profound for a status update.

15 months. Part of me wants to stop counting because it just makes me sad to think about what he would be doing at this age and what he would look like. The other part of me is driven to never stop counting and never forget. That part will probably triumph because, behind the pain and behind the tears, we still want to celebrate a life that was cut far too short. We love you Dill!